Catch Fog and Sidhe in action on Instagram @wyrdfamiliars and YouTube @Wyrd Familiars.

Q. Who is/are this/these learners of yours?

Our primary learner is Fog, a 7-year-old lynx point Siamese mix cat. We got started with buttons because Fog had been exhibiting anxiety behaviors for more than a year at that point, pawing at doors every single night for hours. When I came across Billi (@BilliSpeaks) and saw a cat having success with buttons, I became convinced it was worth trying.

Our second learner is Sidhe, a 12-year-old calico. Sidhe doesn't press much, which fits with her personality -- she's an introvert and is very confident and clear in her ability to communicate through body language and vocalizing.

Q. What was your learner’s first button?

We started with BRUSHINGS (for Sidhe), and PLAY (for Fog). Shortly after starting, we added PETS because Fog kept smacking PLAY but clearly demonstrating with her body language that she wanted pets instead. It turned out that PETS were much more motivating for Fog than PLAY was -- which was something we wouldn't have guessed before trying out buttons. By the time the Connect system launched, we were up to 33 words! We were very excited about the potential of the Connect system, so we transitioned our full soundboard over as quickly as we could.

Q. How long did it take for them to press their first button?

Sidhe grasped paw-targeting / button-pushing pretty quickly, and was easily pushing buttons at just shy of 8 weeks, although she was still working on understanding the words at that point. Fog is a bit clumsy, so while it took about 4 weeks for the intention to be clearly there, her ability to fully depress a button instead of just tapping the top was inconsistent for about six months. We did a lot of practicing, and I would help her by having my finger on the edge of the button and depressing it for her when she put her paw on top of it. This would help her feel in her arm what was needed to make the sound activate.

But it didn’t seem to sink in that this was a communication tool for a while: both cats were happy to “play the game” whenever one of us sat down by the board, but neither ever initiated a request. Then we were forced into a surprise house move, and the buttons were packed away for three weeks. Fog was quite upset about this, but temporarily losing her buttons seemed to shift something for her. Ten days after unpacking, it’s like Fog suddenly realized what these buttons were for, understood the potential, and has been talking enthusiastically ever since. This was ten months into teaching. I definitely would not recommend taking a soundboard away on purpose, as it was stressful for all of us; but circumstances conspired.

Q. What have the buttons revealed about your learners that you wouldn’t have known without the buttons?

So many things! Our first surprise was that Fog actually does like to be brushed. She was always resistant when we tried, unlike Sidhe who couldn’t get enough of brushings. But when we started with BRUSHINGS and PLAY, Fog started pressing BRUSHINGS too. We were quite skeptical at first, but held out the brush to her, and she rubbed her cheeks on it and absolutely loved it. Now I can brush her whole body, as long as she’s the one initiating -- it turns out she just wants to be in charge of when and how it happens. For Fog, consent matters.However, the biggest revelation was, through an organic process of all of us learning how to communicate and understand each other better, we came to understand that Fog is wired a little differently, and can be prone to sensory and emotional overload. Her being able to communicate, and us being more in tune with all her ways of communicating, means that all of us, Fog included, can better recognize when the overwhelm is just beginning. We can remove her to a quiet, calm space, and she has even learned how to do this herself (although she still prefers company). At this point, she almost never has those anxiety episodes anymore, and I credit her buttons for that.

Q. What’s your funniest button moment?

Just recently, Fog was making it known she was hungry, even though she was an hour early for her dinner (wet food). The humans were exhausted and not moving fast enough in Fog's opinion. We kept trying to deflect her with "dinner soon," and then Michael offered "come cuddle Dad, hmm?" She thought about it for only a second before she got up to press "no."

Q. What’s your most surprising button moment?

Most surprising has been the depth of her creativity in combining a limited set of words in unique ways to get her point across. My favorite has been CUDDLE TREAT, which Fog repeated for weeks while I struggled to understand what it could possibly mean. She finally went to great effort to spell it out for the confused human: WORM (shorthand for "worm treat") FRIEND. SIDHE CUDDLE. FOGGY SIDHE CUDDLE TREAT. What she meant was the cats' habit of "cuddling" cheek to cheek when sharing a Churu. She wanted to share her favorite treat with her cat sister! I would NEVER have guessed that the intimacy of sharing was such an important part of it for her.

Q. What challenges have you faced with button teaching?

I think our biggest challenge was just learning to not be really attached to a particular outcome or vision of what this would look like, since how this goes is entirely up to the learner. This is very much a "meet them where they're at" kind of practice, and it's necessary to let the learner lead the process, AND let the learner define what "success" looks like for them. We have two cats: Fog is ALL IN on her soundboard, and Sidhe... is not. It took ten months for it to really click for Fog that this could be used to communicate, and wasn't JUST a fun game that you play with the humans when they sit on the floor. For a long while, it looked like Sidhe was going to be our dominant talker, because she grasped paw targeting and pushing buttons much quicker than her sister did. Whatever we expected, it got challenged or flipped on its head sooner or later.

Q. How do you decide when to introduce a new word to your learner?

This is more an art than a science. We try not to add too much new information at once. When we can, we verbally model the words a lot leading up to adding them to her board. We also consider: is this a word that will be useful to her? Has there been something she’s trying to communicate but doesn’t have a word for? Has there been a recent change in her environment that would warrant a word to describe or explain it? For example, the button for HAMMOCK jumped the line of our planned list because Fog had told us she was upset that the air conditioner in our home office window was blocking her view of the birdies: OFFICE LOOK OUTSIDE ALL DONE. So, we bought her a cat perch that attached to the window with suction cups, so she could hang out above the air conditioner where she could see. So of course we needed a word to describe her new perch. She is now up to 50 words, with more coming soon!

Q. How have buttons changed your relationship with your learner?

We understand each other a lot better. I think sometimes people have the impression that this is just about a cat or dog "speaking" with words, but it's a whole lot more than that. I describe it as "Felish" because we have created our own idiolect for mutual understanding, which is as much the humans learning "feline" as it is the cat learning English. Fog not only has expressive English, but receptive as well -- she also understands us better, so we're not this frustrating mystery to her. We can explain things to her that we had no means to do so before. She is learning that we also have feelings, get tired, have other things that we have to do, instead of just simmering in the anxiety of feeling misunderstood. Just knowing that she is understood, I believe gives her an emotional security that she wouldn't have otherwise.

I feel that Fog having words to describe her emotions has helped her to understand herself better too. Both humans and Fog are more attuned to the energy of her early stages of feeling overwhelmed, helping us to intervene sooner, and her English was our first step in getting there. We have even explained to her "Sidhe ear ouch" and gotten that abrupt head turn, eye contact, and concerned expression; as well as a lot more patience from our wild child cat than we could typically expect while caring for her sister.

Q. What advice would you give to others who are interested in teaching their learners to use buttons?

Before you even get buttons, talk to your learner, a lot -- at least as much as any other person in your household. Remember you're not the one in control. Be open minded, be kind, find joy in the process. Listen to your learner whether they're using buttons or their body. This is something you're doing together.

Also: paw targeting exercises are particularly useful for cats; and Christina Hunger's book "How Stella Learned to Talk" is a wonderful resource.